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#191
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Hahaha that was pretty funny. I first tried to close it, but it kept moving from corner to corner...yes I'm a slow
I actually read the words to it too rofl |
#192
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9 Months Later...
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?" "Yes, I do." Said Bob. "Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?" "Well, um, yes!," Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, "I have to admit that I did." "And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did." "Why do you ask?" "She just died and left me everything." |
#193
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I rear-ended a car this morning on the way to work …
I tell you, I knew right then and there that it was going to be a REALLY bad day! The driver got out of the other car and wouldn't you know it! He was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said, 'I'm NOT f*#@ing happy!' So I said, 'Which f*#@ing one ARE you then?' That's how the fight started.
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Arguably my Automobile is Awash with Alliteration - Subaru Sti S202 |
#194
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NOT SAFE FOR WORK: CONTAINS A WORD SOME MAY CONSIDER VULGAR (but luckily not me )
This is a story about 4 people named Everycunt, Someothercunt, Anycunt and Nocunt. One day, there was a job that needed doing and Someothercunt was asked to do it. Everycunt was sure Someothercunt would do it, but Nocunt did it. Everycunt got angry because it was Someothercunt's job. Nocunt didn't realise that Anycunt could have done it. It ended up with Everycunt blaming Someothercunt and Nocunt doing what Anycunt could have done.
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No more GC8, sad face. [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC] Last edited by phizzle; 15-11-2007 at 05:59 PM. |
#195
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I like the Tip Top ones ;)
Two more classics for you:
A man goes to the zoo. When he gets there, there was only a dog. It was a shitzu. >>>>>>>>>>> Imagine if we had Corporate Condoms??? Imagine if major companies from all around the world started producing or sponsoring condoms. They would become fashionable and companies would probably advertise more openly. * Nike Condoms: Just do it * Toyota Condoms: Oh what a feeling * Ford Condoms: The ride of your life * Microsoft Condoms: Where do you want to go today? * Optus Condoms: Yes! * KFC Condoms: Finger Lickin' Good * M&M's Condoms: Melt in your mouth, not in your hands * Duracell Condoms: Keep going and going and going * Pringles Condoms: Once you pop you can't stop * Sydney Olympic Condoms: Share the Spirit * Hyundai Condoms: All day, every day * Tip Top Condoms: Good onya mum - (available in Tasmania only) * Panasonic Condoms: Even more than you expected * VB Condoms: As a matter of fact, I've got one now * Swan Lager Condoms: They said you'd never make it.... * Vegemite Condoms: Puts a rose in every cheek * Levi Condoms: Do you fit the legend? * Nescafe Condoms: It brings you together. * Quicken Condoms: Quicken.Easy The following brands would probably not sell very well..... * Mitsubishi Condoms: Please consider * AFL Condoms: I'd Like to See That * Goodyear Condoms: If it only saves you once a year.... * Samboy Condoms: The flavour really hits you * TAC Condoms: Speed kills * Nobby's Condoms: Nibble Nobby's Nuts * Bolle Condoms: Put them on your face * Kahlua Condoms: Drink the rhythm * Aussie Homeloans Condoms: We'll save you |
#196
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just a something on ebay that made me laugh...
http://cgi.ebay.com.au/VERY-clean-an...QQcmdZViewItem long story short....rexy for sale all mods and stuff listed, "lady owner", selling cos she is pregnant...for any info please call "steve". i know steve may be her husband or wateva, but if you read the add its written by the lady!.......ahh fuk it just made me laugh lol
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MY04 WRX CLUBSPEC 7 |
#197
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i hear what you're saying... because everything on the car has been replaced, so if it's not a "p plate hoon car" i don't know what is lol
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#198
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What do you call a drunk Arab?
A: Hommed What do you call a pissed wasted legless Arab? A: Mohammed ....(hammered and more-hammed)
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MY99 - Powered by Autronic, tuned by Race Torque. www.racetorque.com.au www.anytimetowing.com.au |
#199
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Big Brother Northern Territory:
6 Aboriginal men, 6 Aboriginal women. 2 Weeks later... 3 raped, 2 dead, 4 stabbed, all the cameras stolen and 198 people living in the house.
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MY99 - Powered by Autronic, tuned by Race Torque. www.racetorque.com.au www.anytimetowing.com.au |
#200
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jokes aren't so funny when u have to explain them.
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